Mid Teens

I first started to drink regularly when I was 15. At 14 my friend and I would take alcohol out of our parents liquor cabinets before school socials and proceed to knock back what we called "bombs" before going in. They gave us a buzz for a few hours but ensured we were fine when our parents picked us up at 10pm. These socials were probably once or twice every few months. It was 15 that I started to get drunk every weekend. I had a boyfriend who lived out of town and I would stay at his house every 2nd or 3rd weekend. He lived on a pretty loose rein so we would go out to social clubs, sports clubs or friends houses and drink. I would basically drink until I threw up or fell asleep. It can't have been much fun but I thought it was. A large part of why I drank was to give me the confidence to talk to people. I was extremely shy and found it very difficult to talk to people I didn't know. Once I found that alcohol loosened my mind and tongue it became my best friend. It was the only way I could be accepted into a social circle - without alcohol I was too shy to speak resulting in other girls thinking I was rude and stuck up. I drank to become more social but unfortunately if there was alcohol around I wouldn't stop drinking. Soon I could keep up with the boys and this spurred me on even more. The weekends I wasn't at by boyfriend's I was out with a male friend - he was older (20) and would buy me alcohol. At the time I thought it was a genuine friendship and perhaps somewhere along the line it was but when I think back he was just a way for me to go out and drink. We went to nightclubs, friends houses or just to the movies but everywhere I went I drank. He even picked me and my friends up from school socials so it didn't matter how drunk we got. We certainly got kicked out of a few and he would pick us up so our parents didn't find out. I also had two older brothers who drank and had places of their own - so I could go to their places and stay up all night drinking. This continued through the age of 16 (apart from the boyfriend) and at 17 I regularly started going to the local pub and hanging out with my brothers more (rather than the older friend - I now looked old enough to buy my own alcohol). I find it so sad looking back that practically every social occasion through my teens involved drinking and the associated blackouts and hangovers. Unfortunately these just became a normal part of my life. There were times my parents found out I had drunk. At 14 or 15 they were called to take me home from a blue light social as I was drunk and had thrown up all over the floor. Another time at 16 they were called to pick me up from a friends as I was too drunk. Another they had to pick me up from a beach at 3am as I had been so drunk I'd missed my lift home. My parents certainly didn't condone this behaviour and I can imagine now how worried they must have been. I don't know if anything would or could have made me change my behaviour - I was already in pretty deep. But perhaps something to improve my confidence and social skills would have helped?